Adorable!

i adore Your creations.

Babies
How they are so small, but have every detail of a man does,
How they grow in mother's womb, from no one to someone alive,
How they are so perfect as a newborn creature.

Children
How they are so cute and funny,
Teach us honesty and faith better than adults,
Hug us with their sincerity and trust.

Boys & Girls
Needs only a while to see them growing up,
And they became so tall and handsome,
Fresh, sweet and beautiful,
Blossom in their age.

Couples
How they seem to be meant for each other,
Match in every single way,
How You made a man so confident and smart,
How You made a woman so gentle and lovely.

Parents
What a very big heart you gave to them,
They cry when their children are sad,
And happy to see their children's happiness,
How they never stop loving and accepting,
Though the grown up child choose to love someone else more than them.

Grandma
How you made them merciful person,
The most comfortable place to run to,
As good as the taste of the cake they made for us.

How can i not adore You?
The Creator of all,
Who wonderfully made us in Your image,
Put everything in Your perfect order and plan.

It is good.
Beautiful.
Perfect.

Yes, You are.

RIDDLES

some stories from the new ship....

OBAMA'S VISIT
almost evening. peoples were leaving one by one.
since it was friday after office hours, no wonder my floor was so silent.
doing some works i prefer to prepare that day for Monday morning, i keep refreshing my mailbox.
then it happened that i received a mail from our Director's secretary with the subject:
"OBAMA's VISIT" with recepients name is everybody on the floor.
WOW!
yes i knew Obama would visit Indonesia around these days, but,
just WOW WOW WOW!
how come he will visit us?? in P******bank???
this is GREAT!
regardless i like Obama or not.
don't you think so?
to be continued...

APPLE TO WATERMELON
have i told you that i like fruits much better when it is juiced?
even i prefer vegetables than non juiced fruits..
some fruits are too hard to bite such as apple,
but some are very 'light' and fresh, such as watermelon.
*i love watermelon! and more love for watermelon juice! wkwkwk..
in my new office, ALL the women got this problems.
apple to watermelon.
if you can guess what it means..
to be continued...

I FAILED...
i thought if i study hard, i will be just fine.
i thought my IQ will be enough to do the works they do..
i thought my English is quite good, at least that's what i said in the interview, then they believed and accepted me...
my thought is totally wrong,
i failed in my first subject of E-learning...
to be continued...

HI!
it's been so nice to greet you from my new office! hahaha..
still trying to adjust the new environment, new role, new work, but so far so good.
the peoples around were nice, very clever and so funny! seriously, they are so FUNNY!
thank God :)
hope it's still good after the one i replace take her maternity leave (particularly bout my work)
AMEEEEEEEEEEEENNN!

*this is when i continue.. so keep reading :)

1. apparently, it was just an email of Obama's schedule in Jakarta, and information of some roads that would be blocked due to his visit in some places, so we're suggested to avoid the blocked area. stupid. why i thought Obama would visit my office -_-
2. this 'apple to watermelon' thing did disturbing us. yes, of course! since we eat A LOT, no wonder our apple belly shape became watermelon belly! finally, it is my turn to stop myself, DIET DIET DIET! waaaaaaaaaa!! 3. guess what, i failed in CODE OF ETHICS subject!!!! don't have a good ethic, do i? WAAAA!! embarassing. i asked a friend to help me answering the questions, finally i passed after taking my 2nd test. HAHAHAHA..

why can't i choose?

Bible taught me that women are born to be men's helper & supporter.
My mentor told me that we should be 'passive' rather than 'active' when starting a relationship.
People said that it supposed to be man who approaches woman, then the woman decides.
The others would say the same principle with different language and conditions.

butttttttttttttttttttttttt...
i never think it's fair enough for women   :(

difficult to accept, that woman can only choose from the options that come to her.
*hey, it means there's a probability that she likes NONE of all the options
**and when there's no more options, she HAS TO choose one of them she doesn't really like :'(
***i really don't want thissssssssssssssssssssssssss!! amit amit tok tok tok :((

yes, we do have the right to say yes or no when man comes to our life,
which for my mentor, this is it! that's exactly the time when women DO have the right to choose.
but, do you see the differenceeeeeeeee????AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

second thing.
most of women WILL EASILY FALL, to the man who intensely trying to get close to her.
classic story.
a man falls in love with a woman,  the woman doesn't.
the time goes by.
their closeness makes the woman in love with that man at last.
and they (might be) live happily ever after.
*that's why, in most of relationships i see, the woman seems better than the man (physically at least).
:'((

i realize that, lucky are they, who love the one who love them back, get married, and grow old together.
God, i wanna get married with the one i love. not the one i pity.

please read this wisely. it's just my thought that haven't got the enlightment.
one day i'll be proud being a woman of choice, not a woman without choice.

lumoz

it is from the word lumos.
sounds familiar?
yep, the magic spell in Harry Potter to make a flame.

i never tell why i use this word all the time.
as my bluetooth name, my blog address, twitter name, etc etc..
too shy to tell what it means,
cos it is too high high high!
*when i repeat it three times, it means SOOOOOOOOO HIGHHHHHHHH! wkwkwk..

yea, the first idea - it is just my hope - that i could be a lumos in this world,
through my words, my acts, my achievements, my blog, my creation, my everything,
according to this verse:
Matthew 5.14-16
You are the light of the world.
A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.
Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
since you all knew what it means, please remind me if i no longer shine this world :)

Luminous \Lu"mi*nous\, a. [L. luminosus, fr. lumen light: cf. F.lumineux. See Luminary, Illuminate.] [1913 Webster] Shining; emitting or reflecting light; brilliant; bright; as, the is a luminous body; a luminous color.

THE NEW ONE

my dad once told me, if i was about to move out of a company, i should give my best performance to the company.
*doesn't mean that the time before i should be a mediocre worker, but do it better than usual!
which is harder to do when you know you've been accepted by another company with better compensation... T_T
however, i promise you i'll try to give my better than best quality.

if everything goes right, i'm about to resign after almost 3 years in my last company.
well i've prayed for a new job quite long, and i think this is it!

i will be doing a new and totally different job.

excited? yes i am!
so thirsty to learn the new things,
work with expats (again),
use my english,
get a bigger compensation ;D
but afraid also :(
to get out of my comfortable area in last company and doing something i'm not expert in,
leave my great pals there and find the new friends in a new environment i never knew,
adapt to a new boss with different higher level (hope i can do it God please please please)
and when i get busier there than now, i'm afraid i will have no time for God.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

hopefully it really is the path He directed me to.

visible VS invisible

Life is just too real with many imperfect facts,
so i don't fly too high with my happy feelings in romantic moment.
*imagine a handsome prince fall in love with a beautiful princess.
they get married and live happily ever after.
sounds so perfect.
but do you ever think that the prince and the princess are human also, that can sweat, snore and even fart? xp
now the story of the prince and the princess is not too cool anymore..
see, that behind everything good, there is something imperfect that can make it GUBRAK!


But life is also not that bad when i see many people's life are worse than mine,
so i don't sink too deep with my sad feeling in mellow time.
*in an awful day, all the world seems to hate me, i don't have future, i don't wanna live etc etc, i took a pity of myself.
then i saw my subordinate. looked happy. if she could live, why couldn't i?
i pat my cheek, pinched my hand, and back to the state of CONSCIOUS.


There' re times when my day is full of love, i admit it.
but the day after is just so so. usual. like the ordinary day. love is no more in the air.
so, yea, just forget the dramatic moment with family and friends
: |  (straight face on)


There is nothing,
yes,
nothing can hold me stay long so deeply in feeling..
except.. the one i felt these days, i.e. JEALOUSY!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!   X'O


i pretend that i never be jealous of her.
i play my role as a confident tough woman.
but it's getting hard to play the role.
everytime i see her, something inside my stomach is moving fastly.
i don't hate her, but i don't like herrrrrrr!!
except she moves to a far far away place and never comes back.
bwe! >=p


do you know what did i find after?


Proverbs 27.4
Wrath is cruel and anger a torrent,
But who is able to stand before jealousy?


wkwkwkwk..
even Salomon said that, so there's nothing wrong if i can't stand it  :p


conclusion : i better keep the distance.
(or you just stay away from me my dear lovely girl!!)

what is THAT?

what is birth,
that most of living people never hope to have one, but then they struggle to keep it when they're about to lose it

what is life,
that we never see the power behind which keeps our hearts beating, but yes, we're alive!

what is home,
that we miss so much whenever we’re away,
though it’s not all that good, that big, or that strong, we feel safe in it

what is a sisterhood,
that quarreling was such as a hobby when we were close,
but everything turns so peaceful and sweet when we're separated

what is so good about the 1st nephew,
that we compare him with an angel,
and in our eyes they are the most handsome boy in the universe

what is 'liking',
that we never admit if it's or perhaps love, but we feel the pain when we lose it

what is time,
that we could never touch, chase, or keep,
it’s beyond our control,
we're trapped in it and can never get out

what is jealousy,
that makes us hate another for the wrong he has not done

what is satisfaction,
that sometimes can't we get by achieving our goals, obtaining the wealth and power of the world,
not even when we stand on the top of everything,
but sometimes it just comes after little things we did for others

what is a word,
with which a good speaker inspiring people,
with which an author amazing readers
and with the same thing, a scoffer creates bitterness and hatred

what is music,
that beat our heart faster when we're in love,
and tear our hearts into pieces in time of sadness

what is love,
that though we can't see or grab it, our heart can indeed feel the happiness,
our body gets stronger,
our mood becomes so good,
our smile never leaves our face

finally, what is GOD,
that He created everything i asked above,
and one after another He put in our life,
good after bad,
bad after good,
but finally when we look back, we understand that His plan is just beautiful.

RUSH HOUR

I have only 35 minutes to wake up, use my softlenses, brush my braced teeth, shower, put on 4 types of cream + face powder, take my socks, shoes, breakfast & drink so i can do all in the car.
Using my shoes, ID Card, watch, eating and reading Bible at the same time.

Work from 8 am to 5 pm, doing all the jobs, i try to save some time this way :
I don’t go to the toilet without my yellow Tupperware so i could refill my drink on the way to toilet.
*the pantry is soo far from my cube
I don’t go to Lexmark Multi Function Device without my pen, so after I print some papers, i’ll check a minute, sign and fax it.
*the MFD is not so far, but quite wasting time to go back and forth
I speed up my walk. Believe me. When i walk 3 steps, a normal woman only have 2 or 1.
It’s also for balancing my slow eating disorder.
(wkwkwkwk, i never call it’s a bad habit cos i can’t and will never enjoy eating fast!)
5 pm I will run out of office to catch the Bus Trans to catch my pap.
or I will pay more (using taxi) to save one hour that i won’t get if i have to go home by myself.

The rushing continues if I have something to attend in the evening such as music practice/ cell group/ meeting etc. Showering, drying my hair, eating in 35 minutes then driving like a runaway robber.

Then I close the day with a fast prayer in heart, lying on my bed just to save some more time to give my body enough time to rest.
.......
I just thought i have saved one year when i decided to join in acceleration class in highschool so i would have one free year that others wouldn’t have..
.......
but ‘saving time’ never ends, it still continues until today.

What is the point of chasing the time all the time?
Time will keep running anyway.
And since we all knew that it wouldn't come back again, why don’t just allow me to enjoy mine?

NUMBERS

When it should be 1, i had 2 years
*i might be the only child who’s repeating my TK B, in the 2nd year i got the 1st rank wakakaka...
When it should be 3 years, i had only 2
*yea, accelerated class in senior high, best and worst time all at once


[So we’re 12 persons in one class
1 ½ were male
10 ½ were female
*or just round it, 2 male and 10 female, if you count me ½ male]


When i was 18, i thought like 26
my bestfriend was 23
boyfriend was 19
my 1st student was 15


When i was 22, i thought like 30
close friend was 35 (aaaaaa!!!)
i idolized a 17
was attractive to the 20 (sudah dari dulu memangku terlihat 2 tahun lebih muda XD )
and also the 35 (untung aku tak tertipu! wkwkwkwk)


Now i am 26, i thought like 18
my best friend is 22
i scream all the time (aaaaaaaaa!) like 14
and i wish i could be 15 again!!

then somehow i remember what master shifu said
“Yesterday is history.. tomorrow is mystery.. that’s why we called today a PRESENT.”


no regret. i'll live my life to the fullest!

she never read it

For Novi Diana Josephine, a best friend of mine
8th November 1982 - 6th November 2004
(after more than a year of medical treatment)

it was written on a birthday card she never read :

When you're struggling in your sickness,
many people are struggling for you too
When you doubt whether God could hear your prayer or not,
don't worry, He must have heard it, cos we have cried out the same prayer too
When you think God does nothing for you,
the truth is He has done the greatest thing through the Cross
When you start thinking to give up,
you're dissapointing hundred persons who're standing here encouraging you
When you miss your friends,
we'd like to tell you that we really miss you too
When you think you have no more reason to smile,
you'll get one if you know how much we love you
When you think people will forget 8th of November,
we won't Nov, Happy Birthday.

you!

You!

yes you!

where have you been all this time?
don't you know that i've been waiting for you?

i almost regret when i remember, in my 25th bday i asked God ONLY to meet me with you in 25,
that i didn't mind if we JUST meet each other without being a couple.

i'm sorry for a bit too late praying for you.
but that time i was really enjoying my time being single :p
thank God, He gave me the feeling, so i started to pray for you in 25.

cried out to the LOrd "meet me with him today!" in every morning prayer somehow gave me another excitement to go thru the day.
*but then i stopped for some time, afraid if you are Y that i meet every 'today' wakakaka..

how are you? :)
hope you're good.
and grow each day in Him.
just like what He's doing in me right now.

i always ask God to keep you safe,
handle you with care :p
and bless you in everything you do.

i've planned a lot for our future actually.
the holy matrimony,
the songs we'll play in our wedding party,
type of house we'll live in,
kind of job we'll do,
name of our baby boy.
*see how i think too far.. hahaha..

but God talked to me thru a cell friend, to surrender and put all my plans in God's hand.
There are many plans in a man's heart, nevertheless the Lord's counsel that will stand.
Proverbs 19.21

so for the time being, let's make a promise!
i promise i'll be good. live in holiness. will also prepare myself to be ready in the time we meet.
hope you'll also be good. live in holiness. and prepare yourself for whenever God's best time come.

take a good care of yourself.
and meet me soon! :)

perfect in imperfectness

in my 1 hour left being 25, let me list down what God had provided for me.

ME:

not outstanding, but fearfully and wonderfully made [Psalms 139.14]

have not the best parents among all, but they always keep me safe
*my bodyguard, my nurse, my creditor :p

have 2 rude sisters, but they're good sparring partners so i could be a tough girl
*practice makes perfect!

single, but complete in Him [Colossians 2.10]             =)

not yet had my own car, but many persons around drive me. including pap.
*yihaaa!! God is good. wkwkwkwk..

never had my study abroad, but given a chance to work with the expats
*where attention is read 'attentiong attentiong'

have a lazy boss (peace ^^), yet it brought me to many experiences and chances
*should i thank him for being lazy?

not that rich, but blessed abundantly
[Matthew 6.26] Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
*lemme answer:  yes, Lord. YES!! i'm more than them!

not as talented as echa the drummer, yet still used by God  :p
*he is a drummer, but he played keyboard this good! pdhl kaya asal2an gitu. aaaaaaaaaaaa!!

and the best is :
sinned, but forgiven and saved by God.
[John 3.17] For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

my prayer for my 26:
God, i thank You for reasons above. it's just perfect in imperfectness    :)
Lead me in my 26. be in and around me.
as You promised You'll never leave me, nor forsake me.
may Your goodness and mercy follow me wherever i go.
*my prayer is Israel Houghton's song God. Everywhere That I Go lyric  :p
AND! teach me to have a mentality of abundance.
AMEN.

HAPPY 26 myself! may God bless me. hihihi..

THE HISTORY OF CHUCKIE

just in case i forget the story in the future (berasa punya bakat pikun), i choose to write it here  XD
*friends&followers, forgive me for posting something without a deep meaning like u guys do.. hehehe..
**and maybe i'll do it a lot of times  XD


i was in a far far away little town (lebai de lebai) sent by the office for some months,
and just having my hair cut.
my Indonesian friend (female) asked my Iraqi friend (male) how did i look with my new haircut..
the Iraqi answered 'very nice! you looked like a doll! a japanese doll'

proudly i told the story to my bestfriend (male) on phone in the evening..
me : 'yeaaaa, he said that i'm looked like a doll! hahaha!!'
he : 'yes yes! it's true! the Iraqi is right! u're looked like a doll, i'm not lying!!'
me : 'o yeaaa?? aaaaaaa!! thank youuuuuuuuuuu very much!!' ^,^
he : 'yes yes... looked like chuckie!'
me :  .... (i'll bomb u my dear friendd!!!)

now i'm known as 'chuckie' in my NEW office   -_-

new me in new year

[this was written half an hour to new year]

and i'm in my own room!
gosh!

wondering why i go nowhere?
cos somehow my friends who usually invite me to BBQ - were being invited by their friends to BBQ ;p
so i thought, setting up my blog's layout in new year's eve is not bad at all :)
*remembering i don't feel well for spending my whole night eating & talking, slept at 3.30am, woke up at 8am -_-
*barusan aja nge-rock (if you understand what i mean) it's related with 'masuk angin' XDD

i realized that my sleeping hours really affects to :
1. my mentality & mood
2. my skin's health

so this is it!
i was so in blue this morning, awoke with anxiety.
then i read out the verse in Phil 4.6-7.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

though i didnt really understand why they put 'with thanksgiving' there, i did it.
then i requested things to God, including the 'unholy' one : BB, a new car, a new job, meet my future husband before my birthday, etc hehehe..
but after all, i admitted what i need the most is His peace.
then i prayed wholeheartedly, that i would be a woman in Proverbs 31.30, and bloomed in my age ^^

understand it like this :
i wanna be a beautiful shiny diamond, hard to get, sold in very high price, and once it's been bought, the owner will keep it safe for it's worthy.

God, be with me always.

okeh! time for my first smile in new year!
SMILE   :D