-----------------------------------------

A very late post that i have posted in FB on 15 January 2012. 

Since my old FB account was hacked and could not be recovered, i decided to repost it so i could have all the birthday posts on the blog (which lack of post lately hahaha)...

**You have no idea that i have prepared this draft weeks before, and published it on FB right on my 29th birthday, thru the limited internet access in Hong Kong. What a style to celebrate bday! wkwkwk.. 

And by the way.. i missed my flight in Hong Kong. Seriously. That's not the part of the plan.......

-----------------------------------------

Good morning beautiful world!
a warm regard is sent from the birthday girl here :)
i feel the urgency to express my gratitude since my 28 is like the most enjoyable age! 
couldn't find any excuse not to write it down on the first day of no longer being 28.

so, here's the summarized list of my gratitude, i really mean every word of it :)
1. PLACES
i'm grateful for all the places i've been and for the experiences. 
- Bali for its miraculous excitement and fun, and of course all the ribs
(as always. *you know me so well if you know i will mention the ribs. hi 5 bro!)
- Makassar for its nice airport and all their best seafood (note it, try Apong restaurant and Paotere!)
- Bandung for its nice weather and artistic romantic atmosphere (i recommend you to propose a girl there)
- Tasikmalaya for the sincere smile and warmth of the people (i'm wondering how they could be so sweet without sugar or caramel....)
- Cimahi for that good branch manager (from whom i understood how to care)
- Malang for the handsome customer service (huahahaha) and nice weather at Batu
- Probolinggo for the cheap mangoes and the crunchy 'Kripik Bimbi' *trust me it's really good!
- Batam for all the bags and the head of area who like to feed us hahaha..
- Tegal for it's not so bad (no offense for Tegal-ers.. peace :p)
- Seoul for its shocking cold weather, handsome & pretty people i saw, strong wifi, safest & most interesting theme park where i finally made a record HAHAHA!!
- Jombang for the piano they allowed me to play in the hotel lobby  (hopefully no guest decided to move to other hotel bcos of that..)
- Bogor for the position they offered to me hundred times n i rejected thousand times hahaha *i'm expensive pak...
- Pekalongan for the cheap batik *though i don't know what to do with that batik now..
- Surabaya for all the outfit i couldn't find in Jakarta (more grateful for the discounted one) and all the 'bebek' menu
- Mojokerto for that family karaoke named X2 (my one and only entertainment)
- Cianjur for i see the mentality of abundance from a 'small' person. You're so rich pak :)
- and for the other places i couldn't mention one by one hahahaha..
thank God :)

2. FRIENDS and SOULMATES
having new funny friend always be an exciting part, but let's skip n go directly to the soulmate topic :p
Soulmate! it doesn't refer to the 'future spouse' stuff, but more to the interesting people who also found they interest in me, which in all of a sudden became a close friend of mine, to whom i could be myself, share my (stupid) stories, n be sure that they will love me always :D 
you have no idea how grateful i was when i accidentally knew them!
found 2 along the year 2012!
they somehow fill my day with laugh and busy-ness for replying their bbm/ call, become my good listener, a good sparing partner to improve my joking skill (hahaha) and my day won't be the same without them. I'm so blessed with new friends from U2S and these 2 soulmates. 
thank God :)

3. LIFE LESSON
Well, i couldn't be more serious than this. Understand this fellows.
there is a time for everything. nothing is better than to enjoy what you have and what you could do now :)
let me tell you how i enjoy it.

i am single. happy and independent in my singleness.
i could traveling with family or friends since there's no daughter/son i should take care of. 
free to choose with whom i'm gonna spend my weekend with, for i'm not attached to anyone.
spend my time doing what i like cos my time is all mine.
taste whatever good food of my choice while my metabolism function is still good and i don't have to think what meal my husband will like or dislike.
have enough time to minister together in a music team in church with no worry for leaving home quite often. 
happy for having chance to accompany and serve my grandma without thinking bout priority n make it only an unimportant option after so many 'to do list' with my future core family.
proud whenever i could treat my parents since i don't have to be financially responsible for my own family (or for the long line of nephews n nieces who are eligible for hongbao every Chinese new year hehehe).
i enjoy being sooooo free!
*doesn't mean i don't want to get married or have children, it will be my next season soon, but for the time being, wew, thank God i enjoy the freedom :p

again i would say, every season has its own goodness to enjoy! so don't look back or forward to find the pleasant things from other season. it has passed or not yet come buddy! but when the time has come, enjoy it at the max.
pray that whoever read this could understand and enjoy whatever season they're in.

now let me enjoy HK and two or more places i will be visiting after this.
*i promise i won't be too narcisstic in HK or gamble in Macau or shop til drop in Guangzhou or pretend to miss the flight in Singapore..
will be back soon!
ciao.

moving on

I'm moving to a new blog. 
Last time I changed the theme of this blog, I realized that I was no longer that 'new kid on the blog' hehehe.. 
Yes we are older now. 

Leaving the past life written here with thanksgiving to God. 
Anyhow, He made me passed through. 
And He's proven faithful and always good. 

Shall we say bye?
I (secretly) wish that you will still do the hop, read my blog, miss me a lot, or meet me sometimes?

luminozo.blogspot.com

a selfish wishlist

Since some friends started to ask me what's my wishes for my upcoming birthday,
And..
I realized some of them really have no clue what to buy for me other than bodyshop package these last 2 years,
And..
I have been good these few years asking nothing for my birthday,
And..
Since 30 is an even number (So what??!),
*o my, I'm turning 30. Yayy :(
Here is my selfish wishlist 2014! Wkwkwk..

1. Montis avocado - the wholecake, for myself
2. Windows 7 software (or now 8?) + installation service
3. Adobe Premier software
4. The book of how to use Adobe Photoshop, Adobe Illustrator, Adobe Premier
5. Portable harddisk
6. Return ticket to Manado in May
7. Javajazz ticket. And please go with me too
8. A nice metal or brown leather watch
9. Thin genuine leather wallet
10. Genuine leather card holder wallet
11. The remaining of my wisdom teeth disappear miraculously
12. A video of Sky singing happy birthday..
No he can't.
Ok.
A video of Benji & Eloise singing happy birthday.
13. A nice picture of me kissed by Benji on left cheek & Ethan on right cheek
14. A pair of New Balance shoes, size 5.5
15. A pair of black sexy hi-heels, size depends on brand (call me maybe wkwkwk)
16. A chiropractor bed (queen sizeeee, I'm big!)
17. A surprise pick up after office + nice dinner treat
18. A package of Furtener anti-hairfall
19. Bodyshop liptint (color same as nia's hahaha) + PAC eyeliner (also same as nia's)
20. Multivitamin for a year!
*note: must contains mineral
21. Levis skinny jeans
22. Blouses (a dozen maybe? :p )
23. Another 2 kgs weight loss
24. My generous friends read this.

Thank you my lovely friends, you are the best! :p

your second letter babe!

Hey you..
Merry Christmas 2013 :)
It took me how many years to write the second letter? Hahaha..

How are you? 
Me, not bad. 
I'm going to cut my hair soon!
You know, the very hairs of my head are all numbered by God, 
But too much hairfall, He will also be sad
*or bored to count 
So, I'll give a little relief to the hair, 
Make it short and light :D
Don't worry, I'll still be pretty in short haircut. 
Prettier actually. 
If I'm not fatter. 
Sophisticated also. 
You will love me! :p

Next year will be a challenging year for me. 
Great changes are about to come.
I'm quitting my job.  
I can't imagine how life would be. 
Scary :)
No more luxurious building. 
No more stylish dress to office. 
No more lunch with professionals. 
No more health insurance. 
No more presentation to new people. 
No more meeting with the officials. 
But at last, I decide something big by my ownself. 
*Life begins at 30! 10 years earlier than others :p

My prayer for the new year, that I will be so dependent to God, 
Obey Him, my wonderful counselor,
Find the way to live my life calling,
*the good news is, I finally knew my passion!
See the great things and miracles from God,
And of course, meet you :)

Another major change: 
I will sleep alone starting in March.
*Yes! The bedroom will be all mineee..
My sis is getting married in March. 
She's so ready more than us!
I will miss the squabbling with her.
.....
.....
.....
No no. 
I won't. 
XD

I've grown up dude :)
And grown big. O my..
Don't worry. I'll be on a diet. 
It's a diet to be healthy, not to be sexy. 
My doctor said, I could not be fat, otherwise my small ankle could not withstand the heavy body. 
Promise me you will also live a healthy life ok! 

Well, what else..
I don't have much to write dear,
Cos I'm expecting to talk it with you directly :p
Since we don't know when is His right time,
Just get ready and be prepared :)
I'll do my part also. 
*I learn to cook :p
Let's see whether it will be the ugly olio or the real aglio olio. Yay!

Bless you.

cheers,
oleen

jobdesc

For those who always ask what's my job.
*including my DC members, who always forget n never really understand clearly what I'm doing for a living...
(Yea, I'm that Chandler in Friends series...)

Finally I write about my job!
Have been in my mind for quite some time, but no time to write hahahaha..
(Get it? That's the first clue. My job is a kind of job that consumes tooooooo much time)

We (me n others), work in a random team every week consists of 2-4 persons.
From 13 of us, 10 are wonder women, 3 are boys (peace boys :p oopsss hahaha)..

Well!
Part of our job is traveling to wherever boss assign us to.
Besides airplane, we also travel by train and car, or propeller plane (for an unexpectedly nice scary trip to a remote area).
So, on Monday morning we will be seen in head office with our colorful travel bag,
Afternoon in Soetta airport (Terminal 2F, never change),
And by evening you will see our status arriving somewhere in Path wkwkwk..
Then we'll be gone for the rest of the week..
(Except you add us on Path - again - you will see pics of food or beautiful scenery from wherever we are. Yay!)
In fact, my unit head expects more men to join bcos of those 'remote areas' but they're just difficult to find.
And maybe that's also the reason why we call each other 'bro'.
*No 'sis' thing, we're not an online shop :p
Hi Bro!
Good morning Bro!
How are you Bro!
What's up Bro!
How's last week Bro!
What do you want to eat Bro!
Do you want to go!
*no no, it's not like a story of a mother who expected a son but got a daughter and treated her as a boy..
**and not always with exclamation mark actually wkwkwk..

We are tough, as I can say.
Howcome not?
The burden is so heavy for us.
*Around 12 kgs (for a travel bag) + 3 kgs (for laptop & charger) = 15 kgs man! Wkwkwk..
Literally heavy!
Yet the ladies still wear those hi-heels anyway..
**How I still wonder where I get these muscles all this time -_______-
Ok ok. Focus focus.
The heaviest burden actually is..
We are always haunted by a tight deadline, and of course, with a high demand.
I feel like my eyeballs will jump out when I force them to read detail of things for so long hours.
(I'm sorry eyes. I love you. Really.)  :*

However..
It's not as nice as it was heard or read. It's not like traveling in holiday. 
Cos we're also surrounded by piles of papers to be checked. 
Deal with people whose performance is partly determined by our review result. 
After all, i'm not God, perfect in all my ways, that i can judge others mistake..

Nothing is better than to enjoy what I'm doing. 
But then, the best thing to do is to do what i enjoy. 

Enough said.
If you still don't get it,
The shortest explanation is:
My job is auditing, but I'm not an auditor :p

phlegmatic

Just because I could get over it,
Doesn't mean that it was easy for me. 
It was hard. 
I prayed for the new strength every morning, and sometimes held my tears in front of peoples until I won the process. 

Just because I still laughed at a tight deadline, 
Doesn't mean that I did not feel stressed or did not give my best. 
I seriously did my part and managed my time efficiently. 
Somehow people just assume that a stressful staff is much more responsible than the one who still could laugh. 

Just because I smiled n stayed calm at bad things happened, 
Doesn't mean that I did not think about it and it did not bother me much. 
It did. 
But I just thought the best response is to calmly find a solution instead of complaining and being moody. 

Just because I didn't show what I eagerly ask in prayer, 
Doesn't mean that I did not wholeheartedly want it. 
I want it! 
I just don't need people to know, God will do it for me if necessary. 

Being positive sometimes makes me look like a 'playful' one that is always happy and needs more pressure, more determination, more struggling moments. 
As if I don't feel any pressure, 
As if I don't have determination,
As if I don't pursue n struggle as much as I should. 

What if, 
You're the one who can't see? 
While I'm just trying not to overreact,
Joyfully accept what's coming,
And silently pray, and put a big hope in God only.

Y is not for Yankee today

Sunday, 28 July 2013
(To make it more dramatic and right on time)

Yo!
How are you this morning?
Hope you feel great and so blessed on your be-day, as things' re getting better and better in the past few years for you.
(And you're also a better person now, I'm happy for youuuuu!)

I never expect to have a friend of my older sister age, moreover the sensitive one (wkwkwk no offense..) 
We have totally different hobbies (you talk - I keep silent, you work - I play, you' re not artistic - I am, you eat - I eat ehhh the only same thinggg....), 
different taste (over things, fashion, songs, man, place, etc), 
different paradigm of life (profit oriented vs fun oriented), 
different sensitivity (high sensitivity vs insensitive),
different background (and foreground.. Mksdnyaaaa??), 
different chi energy (I positive, you.. not positive wkwkwk - try to be subtle),
different love language (you touch touch, I'm untouchable),
and all... sigh...

Yetttttt, we're still being friends. 
A lot closer now. 
I know that you know that I know that you're the true friend mentioned in Proverbs 17. 
Thanks for all the acceptance, burger, care, time, morning run, ride, prayer, and love :)
My simple wish and prayer, that your life will be a meaningful one before God and people. 
And as you walk it, remember that God is God, who holds your world in His hands. 
So, keep on going! 
Run run run! 

Kanpai! bless you 0:)
oleen

Footnote:
1. Y is not for Yankee today, it's for you, Yulia's day wkwkwkwk..
2. Remember your question few days ago? You asked would I be your 'forever friend'? My answer is NO. I prefer just to be myself than to be a fat - cream colored - bear with that blushing cheek and stupid smile all the time :(

To Make You Feel MY Love

I do believe that God express His love in many ways all along my life.    
Here, I wanna share my moments with Him. 
The ones that were completed with that 'magical' feeling of being loved.

So these, describing a splatter of His love, as I feel it.  

- Warmth of the sunshine in cold places
It brings a little happiness, a new hope of a good day, a new faith in heart, and all the romantic feeling of being loved. 
God's love is warm!  

- Nurture of a mother
My mom is always there when I need her, though i'm not always be there when she needs me. She is the one who will take care of me when I'm sick, and I will feel better once I know she's beside me. No matter what, she accepts the way we (her - sometimes impolite, lazy, arrogant - daughters) are :'(  
Through her, I understand how God's love always accept me no matter how much I've fallen and disappoint Him.  
God's love is pure, sincere, always protect, always look after us. 

- Care of a lover
Morning wake up was as tiring as always, but having him around gave me the extra power and excitement to walk my day. 
It's a mood booster to know and trust that someone is loving me, thinking of me, enjoying both serious conversation and jokes, waiting impatiently for the next meet up. 
Likewise, I believe that God always miss the conversation and quality time with me, and I know His love remains the same though I may fail to 'contact' Him sometimes. 
His love remains the same, never run out, always miss us much. 

- Sparkle in the night
I somehow always love to see a beautiful night with its super crowded lights. Look like the diamonds sewn everywhere in the darkness, and they're flickering. It's a luxurious view yet priceless. 
*The best view is from a plane, take the window seat, night flight. The best time to catch it is before landing. 
How God's love is much more luxurious! Too expensive that we can't pay, but it was given free. 

- Secure feeling from a father
As advised by my mentor when I shared my struggle "Stay calm. Father in heaven should be more worried than you for your future. He will set it just right", I went to a moment of understanding a little more about heart of a father. 
My dad, unexpectedly questioned me something I didn't wanna answer, imagining one answer would lead to many WHYs and HOWCOME, on which I also have no answer. 
But when I gave a simple honest answer, he really stopped asking at the 1st question n told me that it was ok, and gave me a simple sincere encouragement. 
He is the guarantor of my life! He secretly concerns about me, might be worried more than me, but always says to me that everything is ok and under control. 
Apparently, God's love includes a warranty for a lifetime. He will repair every broken things, provide the new spare parts (the old one is exchangeable), tell you that everything is ok and under His control, cos He will set it just right :)

I eagerly wait for new experiences with my Lord. Curious to understand how deep, how wide, how great is His love for me. 

As it says in a song, 
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I have already gone to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love.
Let me feel Your love.

life worth living

My old friend once said,

"It's always interesting how life's treating us."

Do you think so?

I used to make tier of plan to ensure that i would get what i want and  none of my time would be useless. At least i made plan A and B for what i eager to get. 

*sometimes also the C and D

But there were times when even plan D didn't work! 

That, i understood as 'not God's will'.

Likewise, my life is also so.. unpredictable. 

What would happen, how it would be, whom i would be with are BIG SECRETS. 

I might not understand why this and that should happen in my life. 

*And surely incapable to compete His thought

Even if God answer my 'why why why' question now, most likely i won't understand at all.  

Yes. It's super hi-level consideration. 

What I saw and now understood, that each one of us were created so special and unique, with totally different storyline. 

So, my life wouldn't be the same like my mentor's experience (though we had similar background and personality), 

my future wouldn't be like what others told me (unless it's from God, it's merely a 'kepo' comment from their own life experience - that could not be generalized will happen to everyone else), 

my love life wouldn't be the same as any love story in the novels, nor Josh Harris' book, nor any couples story in church,

my success story wouldn't be the same as what others experienced,

And so on, and so on. 

The very good news is, when we walk through the paths God prepared before us, we will not be just surviving, but will see how He bring the best things for our life, more than we could ever ask or think!

God, I am SUPER EXCITED to see my future in You. 

Since You hold my world in Your hands, i will not be afraid, for my world is safe in Your hands. 

Amen!

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unfathomable (inscrutable, unsearchable) are His judgments (His decisions)! And how untraceable (mysterious, undiscoverable) are His ways (His methods, His paths)! (Romans 11:33 AMP)

We plan the way we want to live, but only  God  makes us able to live it. (Proverbs 16:9 MSG)

Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over  and  above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]-- (Ephesians 3:20 AMP)

that's what friends are for

hi friendddddddd!
it's been a while (or a longgggggggg time) not seeing you!
*would give you a big hug + cipika cipiki if i were there

if you're asking why you get a notification that this old friend tagged you in a post, it is because of this..

i did my routine at work today then going home tiredly..
and in my super duper long bathing time, i think of my life n  i remember you all :)

things have changed pals,
years have passed,
we've all grown up (though i might be the slowest one) :p

have heard many good news from you, and i'm happy for that :)
for you who finally find the right person to grow old together n plan to tie the knot. congrats! bless for both of you :)
for you who with your strong-will and determination now really achieve what you've dreamt on. WOW. you're great! ;)
for you who now successfully become outstanding in your career and decide to move overseas. will visit you sometime! :D
for you who have been married with your best friend or someone you never dream of, but found out that he/she is your soulmate (hahaha). you're lucky you know?
for you who decide to live in your passion and enjoy it. that's a very good decision! looking for my turn. hehehe..
for you who struggled in a deep pain of losing, but then got your lovely and healthy baby now. have i told you that i was really really happy for you? ;D

we might not intensely contact each other,
i might not congrating you on your birthday,
might not attending your wedding party,
or visiting you and the newborn baby,
since we're way too 'far' now.
and someone new must be around wherever you are.

so,
before i forget,
i just wanna say thanks!
i really enjoy the moment with you and grateful to have someone like you beside me in the past.
*mann, as i could remember, it was SUPER FUN with all the stupid&norak things :D

and i sincerely pray that life will always be good, better, and give its best for you.

that's what friends are for!
*and also to be tagged in useless post like this but you know they will not get mad at you hahaha.. XD

love you always from afar :*

the hardcore do understand

i took one day off today before Lebaran holiday started next monday.

just thought that i need a Me day - alone, after sad sad* moments last week.
*it's repeated because it's double sad, made me lost my appetite
**quite a lot help me on diet though. yes! wkwkwk..

so a ME day began with the Pepper Lunch for brunch
*yes, the appetite lost last week, but i found him back in 2 days, don't ask how :d

the things after might not be as interesting as food:
watch Kungfu Panda 2,
drink my fave Quickly milk tea,
buy new release comic - Conan,
get me a new outfit,
gas station,
go home.

butttttttttttttttttttttttttt,
what i really wanna write here is:
YOU SHOULD WATCH KUNGFU PANDA 2!!!
and really listen to the quotes

i keep some for my ownself.
touching and heartwarming.
just read it carefully :)

[let go]
Po: You've got to let go of that stuff from the past because it just doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now.

[be healed]
Po: Scars heal.
Lord Shen: No, they don't. Wounds heal.
Po: Oh, right. What do scars do? Fade?
Lord Shen: I don't care what scars do!

[thrifty]
Mr. Ping: My son saved China - you too, can save! Buy one dumpling, get one free!
--> wkwkwkwk..

[tigress juga manusia, punya rasa punya hati]
Tigress: The hardcore do understand, but I can't watch my friend be killed.
*for all my tough friends: don't be so hard on ourselves, expressing sadness or love is just normal, we're born with heart anyway ;)
God bless us

the Art of Life

just pop up in my mind :

to see the prosperous life, and meet the poor who sometimes are not less happier than the rich
that is His art to teach gratefulness

to be the smart among the average people, then feel stupid among the smart ones
that is the art of shaping my humility

to give up upon a condition, but then receive the best one
that is the art of surrender

to be jealous sometimes, and get blushed at many happy moments
that is the art of loving someone

(i like this one!)
to feel the salt, and taste the sweet one after
that is the art of enjoying food :)

to see nothing and feel down, but keep the faith
that is the art of persevering

to hate my imperfect body, but then feel pretty sometimes
that is the art of accepting myself however God has created

then i start to think,
to get something bad before the good one,
might be one of His ways to give us the opportunity to enjoy everything at best.

~ the food will taste the best not when it is served hot, but when we are starving ~ quote by myself :p

thank You God.
hug God.
cayang2 God.

: D 　

Adorable!

i adore Your creations.

Babies
How they are so small, but have every detail of a man does,
How they grow in mother's womb, from no one to someone alive,
How they are so perfect as a newborn creature.

Children
How they are so cute and funny,
Teach us honesty and faith better than adults,
Hug us with their sincerity and trust.

Boys & Girls
Needs only a while to see them growing up,
And they became so tall and handsome,
Fresh, sweet and beautiful,
Blossom in their age.

Couples
How they seem to be meant for each other,
Match in every single way,
How You made a man so confident and smart,
How You made a woman so gentle and lovely.

Parents
What a very big heart you gave to them,
They cry when their children are sad,
And happy to see their children's happiness,
How they never stop loving and accepting,
Though the grown up child choose to love someone else more than them.

Grandma
How you made them merciful person,
The most comfortable place to run to,
As good as the taste of the cake they made for us.

How can i not adore You?
The Creator of all,
Who wonderfully made us in Your image,
Put everything in Your perfect order and plan.

It is good.
Beautiful.
Perfect.

Yes, You are.

RIDDLES

some stories from the new ship....

OBAMA'S VISIT
almost evening. peoples were leaving one by one.
since it was friday after office hours, no wonder my floor was so silent.
doing some works i prefer to prepare that day for Monday morning, i keep refreshing my mailbox.
then it happened that i received a mail from our Director's secretary with the subject:
"OBAMA's VISIT" with recepients name is everybody on the floor.
WOW!
yes i knew Obama would visit Indonesia around these days, but,
just WOW WOW WOW!
how come he will visit us?? in P******bank???
this is GREAT!
regardless i like Obama or not.
don't you think so?
to be continued...

APPLE TO WATERMELON
have i told you that i like fruits much better when it is juiced?
even i prefer vegetables than non juiced fruits..
some fruits are too hard to bite such as apple,
but some are very 'light' and fresh, such as watermelon.
*i love watermelon! and more love for watermelon juice! wkwkwk..
in my new office, ALL the women got this problems.
apple to watermelon.
if you can guess what it means..
to be continued...

I FAILED...
i thought if i study hard, i will be just fine.
i thought my IQ will be enough to do the works they do..
i thought my English is quite good, at least that's what i said in the interview, then they believed and accepted me...
my thought is totally wrong,
i failed in my first subject of E-learning...
to be continued...

HI!
it's been so nice to greet you from my new office! hahaha..
still trying to adjust the new environment, new role, new work, but so far so good.
the peoples around were nice, very clever and so funny! seriously, they are so FUNNY!
thank God :)
hope it's still good after the one i replace take her maternity leave (particularly bout my work)
AMEEEEEEEEEEEENNN!

*this is when i continue.. so keep reading :)

1. apparently, it was just an email of Obama's schedule in Jakarta, and information of some roads that would be blocked due to his visit in some places, so we're suggested to avoid the blocked area. stupid. why i thought Obama would visit my office -_-
2. this 'apple to watermelon' thing did disturbing us. yes, of course! since we eat A LOT, no wonder our apple belly shape became watermelon belly! finally, it is my turn to stop myself, DIET DIET DIET! waaaaaaaaaa!! 3. guess what, i failed in CODE OF ETHICS subject!!!! don't have a good ethic, do i? WAAAA!! embarassing. i asked a friend to help me answering the questions, finally i passed after taking my 2nd test. HAHAHAHA..

why can't i choose?

Bible taught me that women are born to be men's helper & supporter.
My mentor told me that we should be 'passive' rather than 'active' when starting a relationship.
People said that it supposed to be man who approaches woman, then the woman decides.
The others would say the same principle with different language and conditions.

butttttttttttttttttttttttt...
i never think it's fair enough for women   :(

difficult to accept, that woman can only choose from the options that come to her.
*hey, it means there's a probability that she likes NONE of all the options
**and when there's no more options, she HAS TO choose one of them she doesn't really like :'(
***i really don't want thissssssssssssssssssssssssss!! amit amit tok tok tok :((

yes, we do have the right to say yes or no when man comes to our life,
which for my mentor, this is it! that's exactly the time when women DO have the right to choose.
but, do you see the differenceeeeeeeee????AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

second thing.
most of women WILL EASILY FALL, to the man who intensely trying to get close to her.
classic story.
a man falls in love with a woman,  the woman doesn't.
the time goes by.
their closeness makes the woman in love with that man at last.
and they (might be) live happily ever after.
*that's why, in most of relationships i see, the woman seems better than the man (physically at least).
:'((

i realize that, lucky are they, who love the one who love them back, get married, and grow old together.
God, i wanna get married with the one i love. not the one i pity.

please read this wisely. it's just my thought that haven't got the enlightment.
one day i'll be proud being a woman of choice, not a woman without choice.

lumoz

it is from the word lumos.
sounds familiar?
yep, the magic spell in Harry Potter to make a flame.

i never tell why i use this word all the time.
as my bluetooth name, my blog address, twitter name, etc etc..
too shy to tell what it means,
cos it is too high high high!
*when i repeat it three times, it means SOOOOOOOOO HIGHHHHHHHH! wkwkwk..

yea, the first idea - it is just my hope - that i could be a lumos in this world,
through my words, my acts, my achievements, my blog, my creation, my everything,
according to this verse:
Matthew 5.14-16
You are the light of the world.
A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.
Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
since you all knew what it means, please remind me if i no longer shine this world :)

Luminous \Lu"mi*nous\, a. [L. luminosus, fr. lumen light: cf. F.lumineux. See Luminary, Illuminate.] [1913 Webster] Shining; emitting or reflecting light; brilliant; bright; as, the is a luminous body; a luminous color.

THE NEW ONE

my dad once told me, if i was about to move out of a company, i should give my best performance to the company.
*doesn't mean that the time before i should be a mediocre worker, but do it better than usual!
which is harder to do when you know you've been accepted by another company with better compensation... T_T
however, i promise you i'll try to give my better than best quality.

if everything goes right, i'm about to resign after almost 3 years in my last company.
well i've prayed for a new job quite long, and i think this is it!

i will be doing a new and totally different job.

excited? yes i am!
so thirsty to learn the new things,
work with expats (again),
use my english,
get a bigger compensation ;D
but afraid also :(
to get out of my comfortable area in last company and doing something i'm not expert in,
leave my great pals there and find the new friends in a new environment i never knew,
adapt to a new boss with different higher level (hope i can do it God please please please)
and when i get busier there than now, i'm afraid i will have no time for God.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

hopefully it really is the path He directed me to.

visible VS invisible

Life is just too real with many imperfect facts,
so i don't fly too high with my happy feelings in romantic moment.
*imagine a handsome prince fall in love with a beautiful princess.
they get married and live happily ever after.
sounds so perfect.
but do you ever think that the prince and the princess are human also, that can sweat, snore and even fart? xp
now the story of the prince and the princess is not too cool anymore..
see, that behind everything good, there is something imperfect that can make it GUBRAK!


But life is also not that bad when i see many people's life are worse than mine,
so i don't sink too deep with my sad feeling in mellow time.
*in an awful day, all the world seems to hate me, i don't have future, i don't wanna live etc etc, i took a pity of myself.
then i saw my subordinate. looked happy. if she could live, why couldn't i?
i pat my cheek, pinched my hand, and back to the state of CONSCIOUS.


There' re times when my day is full of love, i admit it.
but the day after is just so so. usual. like the ordinary day. love is no more in the air.
so, yea, just forget the dramatic moment with family and friends
: |  (straight face on)


There is nothing,
yes,
nothing can hold me stay long so deeply in feeling..
except.. the one i felt these days, i.e. JEALOUSY!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!   X'O


i pretend that i never be jealous of her.
i play my role as a confident tough woman.
but it's getting hard to play the role.
everytime i see her, something inside my stomach is moving fastly.
i don't hate her, but i don't like herrrrrrr!!
except she moves to a far far away place and never comes back.
bwe! >=p


do you know what did i find after?


Proverbs 27.4
Wrath is cruel and anger a torrent,
But who is able to stand before jealousy?


wkwkwkwk..
even Salomon said that, so there's nothing wrong if i can't stand it  :p


conclusion : i better keep the distance.
(or you just stay away from me my dear lovely girl!!)

what is THAT?

what is birth,
that most of living people never hope to have one, but then they struggle to keep it when they're about to lose it

what is life,
that we never see the power behind which keeps our hearts beating, but yes, we're alive!

what is home,
that we miss so much whenever we’re away,
though it’s not all that good, that big, or that strong, we feel safe in it

what is a sisterhood,
that quarreling was such as a hobby when we were close,
but everything turns so peaceful and sweet when we're separated

what is so good about the 1st nephew,
that we compare him with an angel,
and in our eyes they are the most handsome boy in the universe

what is 'liking',
that we never admit if it's or perhaps love, but we feel the pain when we lose it

what is time,
that we could never touch, chase, or keep,
it’s beyond our control,
we're trapped in it and can never get out

what is jealousy,
that makes us hate another for the wrong he has not done

what is satisfaction,
that sometimes can't we get by achieving our goals, obtaining the wealth and power of the world,
not even when we stand on the top of everything,
but sometimes it just comes after little things we did for others

what is a word,
with which a good speaker inspiring people,
with which an author amazing readers
and with the same thing, a scoffer creates bitterness and hatred

what is music,
that beat our heart faster when we're in love,
and tear our hearts into pieces in time of sadness

what is love,
that though we can't see or grab it, our heart can indeed feel the happiness,
our body gets stronger,
our mood becomes so good,
our smile never leaves our face

finally, what is GOD,
that He created everything i asked above,
and one after another He put in our life,
good after bad,
bad after good,
but finally when we look back, we understand that His plan is just beautiful.

RUSH HOUR

I have only 35 minutes to wake up, use my softlenses, brush my braced teeth, shower, put on 4 types of cream + face powder, take my socks, shoes, breakfast & drink so i can do all in the car.
Using my shoes, ID Card, watch, eating and reading Bible at the same time.

Work from 8 am to 5 pm, doing all the jobs, i try to save some time this way :
I don’t go to the toilet without my yellow Tupperware so i could refill my drink on the way to toilet.
*the pantry is soo far from my cube
I don’t go to Lexmark Multi Function Device without my pen, so after I print some papers, i’ll check a minute, sign and fax it.
*the MFD is not so far, but quite wasting time to go back and forth
I speed up my walk. Believe me. When i walk 3 steps, a normal woman only have 2 or 1.
It’s also for balancing my slow eating disorder.
(wkwkwkwk, i never call it’s a bad habit cos i can’t and will never enjoy eating fast!)
5 pm I will run out of office to catch the Bus Trans to catch my pap.
or I will pay more (using taxi) to save one hour that i won’t get if i have to go home by myself.

The rushing continues if I have something to attend in the evening such as music practice/ cell group/ meeting etc. Showering, drying my hair, eating in 35 minutes then driving like a runaway robber.

Then I close the day with a fast prayer in heart, lying on my bed just to save some more time to give my body enough time to rest.
.......
I just thought i have saved one year when i decided to join in acceleration class in highschool so i would have one free year that others wouldn’t have..
.......
but ‘saving time’ never ends, it still continues until today.

What is the point of chasing the time all the time?
Time will keep running anyway.
And since we all knew that it wouldn't come back again, why don’t just allow me to enjoy mine?