your second letter babe!

Hey you..
Merry Christmas 2013 :)
It took me how many years to write the second letter? Hahaha..

How are you? 
Me, not bad. 
I'm going to cut my hair soon!
You know, the very hairs of my head are all numbered by God, 
But too much hairfall, He will also be sad
*or bored to count 
So, I'll give a little relief to the hair, 
Make it short and light :D
Don't worry, I'll still be pretty in short haircut. 
Prettier actually. 
If I'm not fatter. 
Sophisticated also. 
You will love me! :p

Next year will be a challenging year for me. 
Great changes are about to come.
I'm quitting my job.  
I can't imagine how life would be. 
Scary :)
No more luxurious building. 
No more stylish dress to office. 
No more lunch with professionals. 
No more health insurance. 
No more presentation to new people. 
No more meeting with the officials. 
But at last, I decide something big by my ownself. 
*Life begins at 30! 10 years earlier than others :p

My prayer for the new year, that I will be so dependent to God, 
Obey Him, my wonderful counselor,
Find the way to live my life calling,
*the good news is, I finally knew my passion!
See the great things and miracles from God,
And of course, meet you :)

Another major change: 
I will sleep alone starting in March.
*Yes! The bedroom will be all mineee..
My sis is getting married in March. 
She's so ready more than us!
I will miss the squabbling with her.
.....
.....
.....
No no. 
I won't. 
XD

I've grown up dude :)
And grown big. O my..
Don't worry. I'll be on a diet. 
It's a diet to be healthy, not to be sexy. 
My doctor said, I could not be fat, otherwise my small ankle could not withstand the heavy body. 
Promise me you will also live a healthy life ok! 

Well, what else..
I don't have much to write dear,
Cos I'm expecting to talk it with you directly :p
Since we don't know when is His right time,
Just get ready and be prepared :)
I'll do my part also. 
*I learn to cook :p
Let's see whether it will be the ugly olio or the real aglio olio. Yay!

Bless you.

cheers,
oleen

jobdesc

For those who always ask what's my job.
*including my DC members, who always forget n never really understand clearly what I'm doing for a living...
(Yea, I'm that Chandler in Friends series...)

Finally I write about my job!
Have been in my mind for quite some time, but no time to write hahahaha..
(Get it? That's the first clue. My job is a kind of job that consumes tooooooo much time)

We (me n others), work in a random team every week consists of 2-4 persons.
From 13 of us, 10 are wonder women, 3 are boys (peace boys :p oopsss hahaha)..

Well!
Part of our job is traveling to wherever boss assign us to.
Besides airplane, we also travel by train and car, or propeller plane (for an unexpectedly nice scary trip to a remote area).
So, on Monday morning we will be seen in head office with our colorful travel bag,
Afternoon in Soetta airport (Terminal 2F, never change),
And by evening you will see our status arriving somewhere in Path wkwkwk..
Then we'll be gone for the rest of the week..
(Except you add us on Path - again - you will see pics of food or beautiful scenery from wherever we are. Yay!)
In fact, my unit head expects more men to join bcos of those 'remote areas' but they're just difficult to find.
And maybe that's also the reason why we call each other 'bro'.
*No 'sis' thing, we're not an online shop :p
Hi Bro!
Good morning Bro!
How are you Bro!
What's up Bro!
How's last week Bro!
What do you want to eat Bro!
Do you want to go!
*no no, it's not like a story of a mother who expected a son but got a daughter and treated her as a boy..
**and not always with exclamation mark actually wkwkwk..

We are tough, as I can say.
Howcome not?
The burden is so heavy for us.
*Around 12 kgs (for a travel bag) + 3 kgs (for laptop & charger) = 15 kgs man! Wkwkwk..
Literally heavy!
Yet the ladies still wear those hi-heels anyway..
**How I still wonder where I get these muscles all this time -_______-
Ok ok. Focus focus.
The heaviest burden actually is..
We are always haunted by a tight deadline, and of course, with a high demand.
I feel like my eyeballs will jump out when I force them to read detail of things for so long hours.
(I'm sorry eyes. I love you. Really.)  :*

However..
It's not as nice as it was heard or read. It's not like traveling in holiday. 
Cos we're also surrounded by piles of papers to be checked. 
Deal with people whose performance is partly determined by our review result. 
After all, i'm not God, perfect in all my ways, that i can judge others mistake..

Nothing is better than to enjoy what I'm doing. 
But then, the best thing to do is to do what i enjoy. 

Enough said.
If you still don't get it,
The shortest explanation is:
My job is auditing, but I'm not an auditor :p

phlegmatic

Just because I could get over it,
Doesn't mean that it was easy for me. 
It was hard. 
I prayed for the new strength every morning, and sometimes held my tears in front of peoples until I won the process. 

Just because I still laughed at a tight deadline, 
Doesn't mean that I did not feel stressed or did not give my best. 
I seriously did my part and managed my time efficiently. 
Somehow people just assume that a stressful staff is much more responsible than the one who still could laugh. 

Just because I smiled n stayed calm at bad things happened, 
Doesn't mean that I did not think about it and it did not bother me much. 
It did. 
But I just thought the best response is to calmly find a solution instead of complaining and being moody. 

Just because I didn't show what I eagerly ask in prayer, 
Doesn't mean that I did not wholeheartedly want it. 
I want it! 
I just don't need people to know, God will do it for me if necessary. 

Being positive sometimes makes me look like a 'playful' one that is always happy and needs more pressure, more determination, more struggling moments. 
As if I don't feel any pressure, 
As if I don't have determination,
As if I don't pursue n struggle as much as I should. 

What if, 
You're the one who can't see? 
While I'm just trying not to overreact,
Joyfully accept what's coming,
And silently pray, and put a big hope in God only.

Y is not for Yankee today

Sunday, 28 July 2013
(To make it more dramatic and right on time)

Yo!
How are you this morning?
Hope you feel great and so blessed on your be-day, as things' re getting better and better in the past few years for you.
(And you're also a better person now, I'm happy for youuuuu!)

I never expect to have a friend of my older sister age, moreover the sensitive one (wkwkwk no offense..) 
We have totally different hobbies (you talk - I keep silent, you work - I play, you' re not artistic - I am, you eat - I eat ehhh the only same thinggg....), 
different taste (over things, fashion, songs, man, place, etc), 
different paradigm of life (profit oriented vs fun oriented), 
different sensitivity (high sensitivity vs insensitive),
different background (and foreground.. Mksdnyaaaa??), 
different chi energy (I positive, you.. not positive wkwkwk - try to be subtle),
different love language (you touch touch, I'm untouchable),
and all... sigh...

Yetttttt, we're still being friends. 
A lot closer now. 
I know that you know that I know that you're the true friend mentioned in Proverbs 17. 
Thanks for all the acceptance, burger, care, time, morning run, ride, prayer, and love :)
My simple wish and prayer, that your life will be a meaningful one before God and people. 
And as you walk it, remember that God is God, who holds your world in His hands. 
So, keep on going! 
Run run run! 

Kanpai! bless you 0:)
oleen

Footnote:
1. Y is not for Yankee today, it's for you, Yulia's day wkwkwkwk..
2. Remember your question few days ago? You asked would I be your 'forever friend'? My answer is NO. I prefer just to be myself than to be a fat - cream colored - bear with that blushing cheek and stupid smile all the time :(

To Make You Feel MY Love

I do believe that God express His love in many ways all along my life.    
Here, I wanna share my moments with Him. 
The ones that were completed with that 'magical' feeling of being loved.

So these, describing a splatter of His love, as I feel it.  

- Warmth of the sunshine in cold places
It brings a little happiness, a new hope of a good day, a new faith in heart, and all the romantic feeling of being loved. 
God's love is warm!  

- Nurture of a mother
My mom is always there when I need her, though i'm not always be there when she needs me. She is the one who will take care of me when I'm sick, and I will feel better once I know she's beside me. No matter what, she accepts the way we (her - sometimes impolite, lazy, arrogant - daughters) are :'(  
Through her, I understand how God's love always accept me no matter how much I've fallen and disappoint Him.  
God's love is pure, sincere, always protect, always look after us. 

- Care of a lover
Morning wake up was as tiring as always, but having him around gave me the extra power and excitement to walk my day. 
It's a mood booster to know and trust that someone is loving me, thinking of me, enjoying both serious conversation and jokes, waiting impatiently for the next meet up. 
Likewise, I believe that God always miss the conversation and quality time with me, and I know His love remains the same though I may fail to 'contact' Him sometimes. 
His love remains the same, never run out, always miss us much. 

- Sparkle in the night
I somehow always love to see a beautiful night with its super crowded lights. Look like the diamonds sewn everywhere in the darkness, and they're flickering. It's a luxurious view yet priceless. 
*The best view is from a plane, take the window seat, night flight. The best time to catch it is before landing. 
How God's love is much more luxurious! Too expensive that we can't pay, but it was given free. 

- Secure feeling from a father
As advised by my mentor when I shared my struggle "Stay calm. Father in heaven should be more worried than you for your future. He will set it just right", I went to a moment of understanding a little more about heart of a father. 
My dad, unexpectedly questioned me something I didn't wanna answer, imagining one answer would lead to many WHYs and HOWCOME, on which I also have no answer. 
But when I gave a simple honest answer, he really stopped asking at the 1st question n told me that it was ok, and gave me a simple sincere encouragement. 
He is the guarantor of my life! He secretly concerns about me, might be worried more than me, but always says to me that everything is ok and under control. 
Apparently, God's love includes a warranty for a lifetime. He will repair every broken things, provide the new spare parts (the old one is exchangeable), tell you that everything is ok and under His control, cos He will set it just right :)

I eagerly wait for new experiences with my Lord. Curious to understand how deep, how wide, how great is His love for me. 

As it says in a song, 
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
I have already gone to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love.
Let me feel Your love.

life worth living

My old friend once said,

"It's always interesting how life's treating us."

Do you think so?

I used to make tier of plan to ensure that i would get what i want and  none of my time would be useless. At least i made plan A and B for what i eager to get. 

*sometimes also the C and D

But there were times when even plan D didn't work! 

That, i understood as 'not God's will'.

Likewise, my life is also so.. unpredictable. 

What would happen, how it would be, whom i would be with are BIG SECRETS. 

I might not understand why this and that should happen in my life. 

*And surely incapable to compete His thought

Even if God answer my 'why why why' question now, most likely i won't understand at all.  

Yes. It's super hi-level consideration. 

What I saw and now understood, that each one of us were created so special and unique, with totally different storyline. 

So, my life wouldn't be the same like my mentor's experience (though we had similar background and personality), 

my future wouldn't be like what others told me (unless it's from God, it's merely a 'kepo' comment from their own life experience - that could not be generalized will happen to everyone else), 

my love life wouldn't be the same as any love story in the novels, nor Josh Harris' book, nor any couples story in church,

my success story wouldn't be the same as what others experienced,

And so on, and so on. 

The very good news is, when we walk through the paths God prepared before us, we will not be just surviving, but will see how He bring the best things for our life, more than we could ever ask or think!

God, I am SUPER EXCITED to see my future in You. 

Since You hold my world in Your hands, i will not be afraid, for my world is safe in Your hands. 

Amen!

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unfathomable (inscrutable, unsearchable) are His judgments (His decisions)! And how untraceable (mysterious, undiscoverable) are His ways (His methods, His paths)! (Romans 11:33 AMP)

We plan the way we want to live, but only  God  makes us able to live it. (Proverbs 16:9 MSG)

Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over  and  above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]-- (Ephesians 3:20 AMP)

that's what friends are for

hi friendddddddd!
it's been a while (or a longgggggggg time) not seeing you!
*would give you a big hug + cipika cipiki if i were there

if you're asking why you get a notification that this old friend tagged you in a post, it is because of this..

i did my routine at work today then going home tiredly..
and in my super duper long bathing time, i think of my life n  i remember you all :)

things have changed pals,
years have passed,
we've all grown up (though i might be the slowest one) :p

have heard many good news from you, and i'm happy for that :)
for you who finally find the right person to grow old together n plan to tie the knot. congrats! bless for both of you :)
for you who with your strong-will and determination now really achieve what you've dreamt on. WOW. you're great! ;)
for you who now successfully become outstanding in your career and decide to move overseas. will visit you sometime! :D
for you who have been married with your best friend or someone you never dream of, but found out that he/she is your soulmate (hahaha). you're lucky you know?
for you who decide to live in your passion and enjoy it. that's a very good decision! looking for my turn. hehehe..
for you who struggled in a deep pain of losing, but then got your lovely and healthy baby now. have i told you that i was really really happy for you? ;D

we might not intensely contact each other,
i might not congrating you on your birthday,
might not attending your wedding party,
or visiting you and the newborn baby,
since we're way too 'far' now.
and someone new must be around wherever you are.

so,
before i forget,
i just wanna say thanks!
i really enjoy the moment with you and grateful to have someone like you beside me in the past.
*mann, as i could remember, it was SUPER FUN with all the stupid&norak things :D

and i sincerely pray that life will always be good, better, and give its best for you.

that's what friends are for!
*and also to be tagged in useless post like this but you know they will not get mad at you hahaha.. XD

love you always from afar :*