Doesn't mean that it was easy for me.
It was hard.
I prayed for the new strength every morning, and sometimes held my tears in front of peoples until I won the process.
Just because I still laughed at a tight deadline,
Doesn't mean that I did not feel stressed or did not give my best.
I seriously did my part and managed my time efficiently.
Somehow people just assume that a stressful staff is much more responsible than the one who still could laugh.
Just because I smiled n stayed calm at bad things happened,
Doesn't mean that I did not think about it and it did not bother me much.
It did.
But I just thought the best response is to calmly find a solution instead of complaining and being moody.
Just because I didn't show what I eagerly ask in prayer,
Doesn't mean that I did not wholeheartedly want it.
I want it!
I just don't need people to know, God will do it for me if necessary.
Being positive sometimes makes me look like a 'playful' one that is always happy and needs more pressure, more determination, more struggling moments.
As if I don't feel any pressure,
As if I don't have determination,
As if I don't pursue n struggle as much as I should.
What if,
You're the one who can't see?
While I'm just trying not to overreact,
Joyfully accept what's coming,
And silently pray, and put a big hope in God only.
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